Every once in a while – I need a break; Life has been busy and strange – and now things seems to be settling down. Thank you so much for your questions whether as to I had been adopted, kidnapped by aliens or just been so absentminded that I forgot that I owned a blog.

Hmm – as a part of my new lifestyle I have devoted my time to wonder the marvels of HR – being plenty of them I might add.

I have come across a phenonomen called “The Unicorn Applicant”; you – being a smart reader would ofcourse laugh: “Unicorns does not exist”. I beg to differ, ladies and gentlemen, they do. You just have to click your heels together and make a wish (remember to ask a return ticket if you go to Kansas).

Cue: new setting. The headhunter or eager Recruitment consultant is in a meeting with the creme de l’organisation: The recruiting manager which is grasping a the Holy grail of recruitment “The Job / Function description form v123.2.Alpha”. properly issued by the resident evil: The HR Department. On that form all the dreams, hopes and ambitions are for ever chisled. If Moses ever comes down that hill again, he will be holding the aforementioned form.
The contents of the jobdescription form, here from now refered to as “the Word” are often made by the Manager, sometimes in cooperation with the HR Henchman, but more often made in solitude, based on all the shortcomings in the candidate presently occupying the desk. If you are fortunate the form might actually be based on the present holder of the job, but – I know – you are laughing. Stay with me – it is a fairytale after all.
After the meeting between the HR henchman and the bright lighthouse that leads his/her troops through the Fog-Of-Recession – a Job is created. The pride is glowing in the eyes of the Manager “My, when I need such a creature, I must be fighting an important war” as the job is posted on all the medias available – being twitter, facebook, linkedin, ebay or other “dating”sites of the job-desperate.
The HR henchman thinks “I ought to have told him: Unicorns does not exist, but what the hell, we will make do with the applications that roll in anyways…”, sips some coffee, sighs deeply and curls behind the desk.

The Applications roll in… most of the candidates are qualified, but according to the desires of the manager, no one seems to fit. Business as ususal, the Henchman thinks…smirks, erhhh thinks….
Now this candidate sends his/her application and actually fits. Dead on target. The Henchman has only one thing to do: call the candidate and reveals the biggest bluff in the HR business: “Nobody really wants to hire the perfect candidate”…

Giving my recruitment career I estimate that 1 out of 150 applications are Unicorns…. I have done my share of recruitment, but I estimate that out of approx 140 jobs I filled, only two, maybe three hired where unicorns.
I really hope that it was because the hiring manager actually matured or saw something he/she never imagined would trigger imagination and possibilities.
But – being a cynic- I must say one thing “We really do not want what we are looking for”…
Not blind from the shortcoming of my profession, perhaps I should have stood my ground and persisted, argued and fought. But I am NOT the Manager. I comfort my self during the cold nights, when the rain strikes the window and the hounds are howling, that I have really fought for making realistic jobdescriptions, being honest with the future candidates and most of all when looking for posting a job: It is based on realism rather than on the slightly overambitious aspirations of a job description form.
It is really bad karma looking for something and when it then comes knocking, sends it away!!!
No wonder that Unicorns are rare. They hide…
Your thoughts,
Kindest,
Steen

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Leave A Comment, Written on november 1st, 2010 , Ikke kategoriseret

In the booming 2000′s – the european HR community watched with fascination what was going on in the US. Everytime there was negotations between the unions and the companies, they threatened the unions with “Off to Mexico”, often with great succes. Nothing beats the possibility of loosing jobs to now-paying regions.

when I entered HR, I really held my ethics high and proud. Never would I suggest “Off to Mexico” as a possible senario and negotiations-tool.

My life taught me that there are nuances to it. I have dealt a lot with unions through my career. I met trade-unionists that were full of commitment for the benefit of the company. They wanted to contribute albeit being the spokespersons for the rest of the employees.

In Denmark we have agreements that transends several sectors – general agreements between the unions and the representatives for industrial sectors. This makes HR much more easy. One agreement – and when you get a hold on it, it proves to be a book of solutions, just looking for a company representative and a trade-unionist that sits down and work out a local agreement. This normally takes the pressure of- and need for - the Danish equivalent of “Off To Mexico”. The system is based on  understanding and a shared interest for the company.

Now GFC is rolling over so many sectors and many a local agreement bears traces of being negotiated when money was in abundance, workforce hard to recruit. When I listen to the HR-grapewine I hear that when trying to negotiate – based on a crisis and perhaps a liquidity issue – a new local agreement, outsourcing rears it’s head again. Some use it as a wakeup-call for the unions some consider it a final solution, because the unions aren’t listening.

What would I do? hm… The prospect of outsourcing several jobs and the subsequent disaster for so many people makes it a tool I really would hate to pull out. It is a final solution not to be considered lightly.

But I am a company represenatative – and I would have to look at the greater picture and act on the benefit of the company, with due respect for the employees. I would have to be creative it the union-representative. But it really requires a union-rep that is in tune with the market, the company situation and most importantly understands that ultimative demands, will be met with the opposite from the management. Trench-warfare from WW-I proved that it is only the grunts that gets chewed up, rarely the Rear-Echelons that gets to taste the blood and gunpowder.

When looking at the danish system of agreements between the unions and companies, it is based on negotiations. It is really flexible with social security that enables the companies to fire people more swiftly and often in more controlled numbers; making the ajustments more swiftly and appropriate. so when companies threaten to either outsource or close down a part of the company, I can promise you one thing – it is NOT a hollow threat. It will most likely have been discussed at upper-management level, and a contingency plan will exist. It is NOT a tradition to threaten, but unfortunately it is a point lost on unions that through the last 5-6 years have been used to companies desperate to employ their members.

Two things must be my conclusion:

if you are in management and HR: if you pull the outsourcing card out, be ready to either be called as a bluff or you will have to go through with it. It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

if you are in a union: you are responsible for keeping a good relationship with the management while representing your members. Please think big and forward. You might be able to call the outsourcing as a bluff, but you might end up paving the road for it later, as no management likes to be humiliated. Please be flexible and choose the battles best fought and won; some are more appropriate for a GFC some more appropriate for a GFB (Global Financial Boom).

For both parties: keep flexible and be creative. You are dealing with so many people and their financial situation. Do not let it get personal. Keep it professional. Take a timeout during the negotiations if they get heated. But be prepared to walk the walk …

Kindest,

Steen

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I know what I think of the above mentioned question: hell no, if you blog on a regular basis and read the other blogs, the first thing you notice is that almost on-one(!!) go by their real name, Yours Truely included.
HRpunkrocker, HRmaven, HRwitch – and now adding to the brigade: HRDragon…

If you read
this article

you get the feeling that HR people does not feel like real employees.
I really do not think it is because we are superior people with a higher intellectual capacity, say like a salesperson ;) – but I think it is because we often become pariahs of the organisation. We discipline people, we enforce corporate policies, we are often caught in OHS with all the legislation that acompanies that. We are the bottleneck – if you ask the managers – that stomps the growth.

So being the pariahs – we tend to give ourselfs cool nicknames and bitch on how other are utter morons.
Because nobody appreciates the benefits of a well-running, competent HR department. We do actually recruit the footsoldiers and generals, we assist with driving corporate strategy, we develop policies and guidelines so to keep a logic, fair and transperant way of conducting the internal business.

But they just bitch. So to ventilate our frustration – we bitch back. And give ourselfs cool nicknames, and blog like crazy to tell the world what we actually are contributing with and to.

Not that I do not recognize the benefits of a cool, and smooth running operation in accounting, sales, logistics, operations, businessdevelopment, and so forth. But they get recognized because they contribute directly to the running of business. Human Resources does it in the background.

And they don’t get to get cool nicknames…
Have a good sunday, friends. :)

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